A Performance Review with Kiddie Academy Mom

Whether at the end of every year or on your personal work-aversary, a performance review is usually an annual routine for most employers. Employees get to hear feedback and constructive criticism from supervisors about their work, and everyone is held accountable for both successes and failures from the past year. But work isn’t the only place where a review on performance can offer important insight about your behavior and efforts, and your overall results on the job.

Knowing how your children feel about your parental victories and downfalls, or rather, “areas for improvement,” as they say, can be just as valuable. I recently took an opportunity to hear how my behavior, habits and attitude were perceived at home by my kids with a performance review, of sorts. Talk about reporting to a tough boss. I don’t know of another job that would require getting spit up on, pooped on and screamed at with less than four hours of cumulative sleep other than being a mom. Still, the “results” of my work: raising great kids, was worth checking in on.

I tried to prepare myself to hear honest feedback in an effort to improve. I followed the same benchmarks a traditional performance review might cover including “areas for improvement,” as well as “what I was doing well” and “what they might like to see change” or see me do differently (I modified some questions for a 4-year old’s understanding). Here’s how it went…

Me:        What did mommy do well this year?

Him:      “cuddling and keeping me warm under the covers”

Note to self: My kids will never be cold. And for that, you get a cookie. Special note: pick up more cookies. The chocolate ones.

Me:        What do you think mommy needs to improve on?

Him:      “waiting for me better”

Note to self: You’re always walking away when he moves at a glacial pace and expect him to catch up. You need to be more patient. Special note: try to work on this.

Me:        What goals do you think I should work on before our next review?

Him:      “Why don’t you ever share your cereal with me?”

Note to self: Share your Lucky Charms with the kids. Special note: Hide emergency box of Lucky Charms in pantry.

Me:        Am I eligible for a raise?

Him:      *big smile* “Mommy, I’m going to give you more hugs and kisses.”

Note to self: I wonder if he understands what a “raise” is. Oh, who cares? Winning.

I do the best I can, but I’m not going to lie to you: I’m not the ultimate mom. But I’m a mom who’ll be paid with more hugs and kisses: the best kind of currency, if you ask me.

What do your kids think about your performance?