Family Essentials®

My Kids – They Love to Hate Each Other

October 24, 2011

Posted in: Uncategorized

I was smart, crazy, whatever you want to call it, and I had my kids close together…18 months close. The first 2 or 6 years were a blur, but now, as they are getting older it is a lot of fun. They are becoming individual people. They are no longer a package deal. When they were little, they were known as “A and B”, now “A” is developing his own interests and social circles, and “B” is finding her own way out from under her big brother’s shadow. Logistically this new found independence is tricky, but it is amazing to watch them develop interests, follow dreams, and work towards goals – their own goals.

As wonderful as this all sounds, they are also discovering how irritated they truly are by each other. They now realize that they don’t have to rely on each other to do everything. “A” now sees that “B” actually gets in the way more times than not, and “B” is beginning to understand that “A” gets to do more than she does because he is older, “and it is just not fair”!

Last night, as they were brushing their teeth and fighting about who was standing closer to the sink, I thought I was going to lose it. The constant heavy sighing, eye rolling, saying each other’s name as 17 syllable words…I. Had. Enough. I tucked them in, explained how disappointed I was that they could not even manage to brush their teeth without arguing, and that they needed to be sure the next day was a better one. Then I too went to bed, aggravated. A few hours later something woke me up. I don’t think there was an actual sound, I think it was just that mother-instinct, that 6th sense you develop after having children. I got up, and went to check on the kids. First I headed to my daughter’s room…she wasn’t there. That was unusual. So I walked into my son’s room, and there I found both kids. They were laying feet-to-face at opposite ends of the bed. They were sound asleep, together, and not fighting. As I looked at them, I found myself smiling. They do love each other. They do love being together. They do gravitate to each other for support and comfort. I stayed for a few minutes and just watched them peacefully sleeping before I went back to bed. I fell asleep happy, relishing this moment as I drifted off, knowing that in just a few hours we would be back to the huffing, puffing, sighing, and arguing that we call our morning routine.