Recognition

The other day I was caught off-guard by my children. This wasn’t one of those moments when I wasn’t looking where I was going; it was a much more visceral thing. I was running late coming home from work, so my kids were already in the house. As I walked into the door, I got a glimpse of them sitting at the kitchen table doing homework, together. They looked so…well, grown-up isn’t the right term. It was more of a look of maturity. There was no whining. They weren’t arguing. They were just sitting in the same general vicinity, getting down to the business at hand. It was completely bizarre, and utterly stunning. It literally took my breath away, as I suddenly couldn’t see the baby shape of their faces anymore. It hit me that there had been more than one day in recent history where no one had cried, or I had not had to play referee. While on the one hand, I was psyched at this new stage in our family relationship, on the other hand, I realized we had entered territory that was unfamiliar. This new territory comes with fights with friends, and more homework, group dates, and bullying. Most importantly, it comes with the natural, and necessary, lessening of my connection to their everyday lives. What struck me most, as I watched my kids work independently, is that I’m not ready…but there’s not much I can do about it. Time to buckle up and hang on.